Every now and then, we will be faced with an extremely difficult circumstance to deal with. At some point, this happens to ALL of us. It’s unavoidable and as much a part of life as the moments of overwhelming happiness. When someone you care about is going through a hard time, it’s sometimes tricky to know what to do, or how you can help them, so we often defer to saying “If there is anything I can do please let me know.” While this is heartfelt, oftentimes for the person suffering they don’t even know what they need, how to ask for it, or even who to ask. So here are some examples of ways you can take action and provide real help.
Close Friend Or Family Member: Don’t ask what you can do; instead tell them what you are going to do. Give a days’ notice that you will show up to wash dishes, mow lawn, tidy up, do laundry, take their kids out for ice cream or lunch, watch the baby, have tea and talk, drop off ready-made meals that are freezable. When someone is going through a hard time the first things that get dropped is the basics of day-to-day living. Just pitching in for the basics eases the burdens of your loved one. To help ease their guilt; let them know they can do the same for you when you have a difficult time.
Most importantly call or text them regularly. Check in, see how they are doing. Give them the opportunity to talk and not feel so isolated. Invite them for simple get togethers. Don’t give up on them just because they say no or don’t get back to you. Remember that working through the emotions of a tragedy take a long time (maybe months) for the person involved and takes a tremendous amount of energy; so be patient with them as well.
Coworker: Take on some of their workload, or offer to take some of their shifts. While they are going through a hard time it may be important for them to be away from the workplace for a while. Even when they return be more patient and understanding that they probably won’t be performing to their usual level. Stress can make people forgetful so please give reminders of meetings, due dates etc. Help them to not feel so isolated by ask how they are doing, invite them to talk when it’s appropriate, you could even bring lunch or coffee for them.
Acquaintance: Often we have people that we care about but whom we aren’t necessarily that close with. This can be the hardest to know how to help. Going through difficult times can also be expensive times, so gift cards for hospital parking, the grocery store, Tim Horton’s or Subway, are often very helpful. Even just sending a card, or email or flowers will help them feel not so alone.
Anyone (Even Strangers): Pray for them. Believe it or not, positive intentions matter. Taking a few minutes of your day to pray for the person going through the hard time is helpful. If you have training in healing or other spiritual practices you could incorporate those as well – distance healing, magical work for healing, saying the rosary, meditating for peace; all of these are helpful. Its also thoughtful to send a card, or even a gift card like you would an acquaintance.
When sad times come; one of the most important things is for the people involved to feel like they aren’t completely alone in their suffering. When we take time to help each other, it makes the burdens not quite so heavy.
Barbara Ford is an internationally recognized Spiritual Advisor, Holistic Practitioner & Paranormal Expert. She has been featured in magazines, a book, a documentary, many TV Shows book for her excellent work. Barbara is also a published author. To book a consultation or a please call 289-891-7711